Past

Sometimes, I still think about him.

I still wonder if he really treasured and is regretting losing me.

We have never talked face to face since then. I think he made some efforts to seal the gap but I simply brushed off since he never really told me his real purpose of the conversation.

At a point of time, I wanted to patch up the thing. A moment later, I simply felt so lazy to bring the topic up. So he disappeared in my life like that.

But saying I don't regret losing a friend is a lie. I was just too angry to talk to him again. He never really showed effort to patch up too.

At a point of time, I wonder if he considered me friend, his special friend. This "special" is just another whatever friend he has, isn't it?

Did you really treasure me?

Are you still treasuring me?

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tình cờ nghe lại nhạc tân dòng sông ly biệt. tìm xem lại Hà Thư Hoàn, vẫn vừa giận vừa yêu con người này.

yêu Hà Thư Hoàn của Cổ Cự Cơ, ánh mắt đó, mỉm cười đó không ai thay thế được.

vẫn giận vì anh cũng như Trương Vô Kỵ, không quyết đoán. anh không biết được mình yêu ai. đây là mẫu người tôi ghét nhất.

yah, there is relation to the above writing. or you know who you loves, just you didn't want to hurt me, no?

yah, once you are not the main female character, you are nothing. Even though you are daughter of Quách Tĩnh and Hoàng Dung, you are nothing. Just like you are not Ran to Shin'ichi, not Bella to Edward.

Shinichi

Shin'ichi, thanks to you I find myself 14 again. I fall in love with you all over again. my ideal lover.

ngày xưa còn có thể gọi là Shin'ichi onii-chan. chẳng lẽ bây giờ phải gọi là Shin'ichi-kun?

có lẽ gọi là Kudo-sensei vậy.

Money

Sometimes I think about it, money has always been my nightmare.

My life is not that miserable. I have clothes (some nice) to wear and food (some delicious) to eat. I even have enough money to rent myself a room. I am not that poor, right?

However, seeing the way people enjoy their life by spending big money, am I poor in their eyes? I think yes. I still don't dare to spend big money.

I am still the poorest among them, after all.

Friends again

Tôi nghĩ là cả đời này tôi sẽ không thể tìm ra người bạn thật sự. Người tôi cho đi và được nhận lại.

Không phải tôi tiếc những gì đã cho đi. Chẳng phải quan hệ là hai phía hay sao. Khi cần đến tôi thì tìm tôi, không cần thì không hề liên lạc. Có bạn trai càng rời bỏ người bạn này. Khi buồn không tìm tôi, khi vui càng không tìm tôi. Mà người ta thà tìm những người mới quen còn hơn tìm tôi. Có lẽ tôi không phải là bạn của họ.

Họ không nhận ra là tôi yêu quý họ đến thế nào.

Tôi sẽ không trao ra bất cứ thứ gì nữa.

Friends

I think I have suffered a moderate dose of stress recently.

I am not that free but all of my friends are too busy for me, even my boyfriend.

I only have that amount of friends. Now I feel like stranger to them. One said having to have dinner with boyfriend and leaving me alone. One said having nothing to say to me on the phone (even a hello, how are you). My boyfriend doesn't pick up my phone since he is too busy.

My phone seems useless.

I cannot concentrate to write my report today. My heart seems beating faster. Think something wrong inside my body.

I am quite anti-social and at the same time want to be attended.

Feel like i am on a deserted island...

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everyday communicate with people means everyday wear a mask.

constantly putting the mask but it doesn't stick to my face. it always drop off.

Book

Just recognize that when you love something deeply, you would like to own it, physically.

just like how happy I feel when holding my long lost books. Reading books on Ipad gives the feeling of reading, not the feeling of enjoying. with an ipad, i cannot flip the books and stop to read at some random pages.

same as Richie Ren, I really want to buy a CD of his. Deer said they were easily downloaded but holding a CD like a token gives me enormous joy.

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Start loving Annie Baobei. She loves to pursue the life in the way I love. Just she has time to sparse or she dares to sparse her time to write, to read, to wander. I cannot. I have more responsible things to do...