Call

A long-time-no-see and far-away friend called me.

I put up a happy-go-round face again. I can't help showing my true sadistic face to people. I am tired of putting up that face but I can't control myself.

I always sound so fake to people. I am not that happy, cheerful.

But it is very long time since my friends last called me. Am I too conservative in considering communication only phone and sms? Mail counts but just no one replies my mail.

Last time, there is a friend constantly messaging me to tell me about his life. He also wrote lots of emails to me. But things stopped. I even had a separate folder for his mails. It has been very long time he didn't message me. I don't know why. He is working, has he become too busy for me again?

What is going on with my friend circle? I am just a pure loser.

My boyfriend doesn't understand me at all. He never replies when I am talking to him. I wonder if all singaporean guys are like that since i saw examples from the couple in my house. It is just too pathetic. I think about Nicholas and Cecilia too (yes, the Hongkong celebrity) . Ceci gave the same complaints. I think I can understand her.

I find myself just too pathetic. Or is it my characteristic that my friends one by one leaves me?

Just a pure loser.