Day 2

Today I went to the wedding of a PhD friend. I met all of my PhD friends there and was updated a lot of news. Some got married, some had job offer and was preparing to leave Singapore, some were going to be fathers and mothers.

Time flied. The four years just swooshed by like a blink. The four years that we spent our days and nights in the same office. And it was time for us to scatter. My heart sank thinking about the separation.

The four years of PhD were the best four years of my life until now. I spent time doing things I like and hanging with people like me. I was amazed that the whole lot of people in that room were the same kind like me. The same kind. I took no time trying to fit in with them. I was already there. It really felt like home.

Every party had an end and I could do nothing to stop the nature. We spent four years worrying days and nights about graduation. Now we graduated and I missed that hardship period. Some of my closer friends were still in Singapore. But things were different now. I did not know when would be the last time I could meet them. We spent the four years like we had all the time in life. In "The perks of being a wallflower", there was a sentence going something like the feeling was infinite. When we suffered, we talked, we laughed together, I indeed felt infinite. The moment was infinite. There would be nothing like that again.

Some would leave Singapore soon. I indeed would miss them much. I had witnessed two of my seniors leaving. I missed them. I felt lost because they were not there in the office. They were no longer present in front of my eyes. Things were not the same any more.

The relationship was still there. I believed I would have no problem catching up with them when we had gathering. One more thing I was pretty sure was that they would not change. Tremendously. They would still be the same people I spent infinitely time with and would still be the same kind as I was. Our kind did not change. I had witnessed too much change in people I cared and I felt vulnerable to changes. This was my weak point. Professor said you would never know your weak point until you were tested.

My feeling should be the nostalgic kind. At the end of a phase in life, you looked back and felt nostalgic. The party ended and I stayed back to feel the silence. To experience the infinite one more time. PhD life, I was preparing to bid your farewell.