Day 1

11:30pm, I was digging in my book boxes to find your book. I hadn't recovered from our dinner last night. I was such a pessimistic person that I considered every meeting was the last meeting I could have. Having your book made me more secured. That you were still there for me. Physical possession always gave me secured feelings.

I admired you tremendously.

You said don't try to become a person like me because you admire me, try to become a person like yourself, who you truly are. You also said don't just admire a person, try to learn from them to improve yourself so you can match that person.

So here I was trying to improve some aspects of myself. I hadn't been able to say that I liked writing yet. I was here trying to write not because you loved writing, but because it seemed I could do it. You said don't under-utilize your ability. So I gave myself a try. Anyway I had too many thoughts everyday and it would be a waste not putting them down.

I was a shy and timid girl yet very arrogant. The irony was arrogance gave me confidence. So, if you were just like me when you were young, I could be like you in the next 20 years. I really wished there would be one day, you would pat my head and said well-done, I would give you A+ for your achievement.